


Hostage Situation

by PoisonJack



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Established Relationship, General au, M/M, jack gets to be the hero, rhys really doesnt like spiders but we can't fault jack for laughing.... its hilarious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-09-19 17:16:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17005812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoisonJack/pseuds/PoisonJack
Summary: JacksavesRhys from the spider above the doorway in the bathroom. Rhys is made of fear and hilarity.One of my older requests on tumblr:Prompt: fluffy domestic Rhack AU. Rhys is afraid of spiders. like really really afraid of spiders. hence why he likes Helios so much, it's in space which means no spiders! wrong. even on Helios the evil things manage to find their way there so one day after Rhys has been in the bathroom for a while Jack goes to check on him and there he is sitting on the bathroom counter pointing to something on the floor. Even Jack has to admit it, that spider is fucking huge so he shoots it and saves the day.





	Hostage Situation

**Author's Note:**

> I really had a good laugh writing this one. This was such a fun time in fandom :)

Jack came home from working late, expecting to smell the start of burnt dinner or the sound of one of Rhys’ cooking shows at least. But the house was quiet and there was no welcoming scents. Was the younger man not home yet? 

“Rhys?”

He thought he heard a slight noise somewhere within the house, and pulled his gun out of its holster as he slowly entered their bedroom. He could see light coming from beneath the closed bathroom door, and he approached cautiously, making no noise as he was before it. He gently, slowly turned the knob. He was greeted with the sight of the younger man on the far side of the room, back pressed to the tiled wall of the tub.

“Rhys?”

The younger man looked utterly, utterly relieved. “Oh thank god you’re home. I gave up hollering for you about an hour ago.”

Jack searched around the room, clean fluffy towels haphazardly on the tiled floor with dirty ones. He must’ve been changing things out. “What’re you doing in the bathtub, pumpkin?”

Rhys pointed, his lips a flat line in horror. Jack followed his gaze to above the doorway.

“What? The vent?”

“The s-s-spider.”

Jack found the spider there, just to the side of the vent, and gave Rhys a blank, unimpressed look. He waited for the younger man to look sheepish or at the very least slightly embarrassed, but he just stayed in the same terrified pose inside the bathtub. Jack raised a brow.

“Are you serious?”

“It’s disgusting and evil and dangerous–”

“It’s an itty bitty spider, Rhys.”

The younger man bodily shivered. “It’s _huge_ , Jack.”

“I’ve seen way bigger.” Jack’s words made Rhys squeak. 

“Not on Helios!” Rhys affirmed, eyes flicking between Jack and the unmoving spider. “It’s revolting!”

“I’ve seen you eat raw baby octopus–”

“That’s not the same–”

“ _This_ isn’t even on the same level of something that scary, Rhysie.”

Rhys frowned at Jack, eyes leaving the spider to frown at the older man. “Sushi and spiders are not the same.”

“It’s got just as many legs,” Jack told him, leaning against the same wall the spider was on. 

Rhys was uncomfortably fidgeting in the tub. “Jack get off the wall!”

“Why?”

“Because it could drop on you!”

“It’s not even above me.”

“Jack please, _get off the wall!_ ”

“This is really upsetting you,” Jack stated with surprised amusement, coming off the wall with an interested chuckle. He came to sit on the edge of the tub, and Rhys wrapped himself around Jack’s back, sighing in relief. 

“Shoot it, Jack.”

The older man laughed. “And ruin my pretty walls?” He strapped the gun back into its holster and patted the younger man’s arms. “That’s overkill.”

“You don’t know what that word even means,” Rhys huffed. “Spiders are horrors. There’s nothing worse.”

“Baby, I’ve seen you face down a thresher like it was nothing.”

“That’s an _animal_.”

“Spiders are animals.”

“They’re _bugs_. Threshers are bigger than me.”

“Exactly why you should be afraid of those and not something smaller than your hand. A little bitty spider isn’t gonna do shit to you.”

Rhys buried his face in Jack’s neck. “It could drop in my hair or down my shirt–”

“And one smack of your hand would kill it, pumpkin.”

Rhys whined into Jack’s skin with antsy annoyance. “They’re hairy and creepy and just– Just kill it, Jack. Please.”

The older man laughed before he got up, leaving Rhys to cower against the tiled walls. He had to get a chair– with Rhys threatening him the entire time that he’d better not be abandoning him- to get to a close enough height with some wadded up toilet tissue. He easily grabbed it while Rhys made frightened squeaks the entire time. Jack climbed down off the chair and gave the younger man a look, tissued spider in hand.

“Jack I swear to everything holy or not, you better not bring it anywhere near me.”

“You know how rare spiders even are on Helios–”

“ _Yes I do_. I enjoy a very happy spider-free existence on this space station and I’d like to keep it that way!”

“I should give this guy his own nature preserve or some shit.”

“Flush it already,” Rhys ground out, ready to flee any moment should Jack decide to tease him with it. One could never tell with the older man.

“Wanna say a few words, pumpkin?” Jack asked as he strode closer– _towards the toilet_ \- but Rhys shrieked some rather creative curse words as he scrambled from the large tub and fled the bathroom.

“I’m _flushing it_ , Rhys! I was going to _flush_ it!” Jack hollered out, dropping the tissue unceremoniously into the bowl and flushing it down without another thought.

It took Jack a solid minute to find the younger man in the penthouse, Rhys peering at him distrustfully from the back side of the living room couch. The older man rolled his eyes.

“You really flushed it?”

Jack held up both hands in supplication, a shit-eating grin of amusement on his face. “Baby, it’s gone.” Rhys sighed in relief, lowering his forehead to the couch material. Jack was laughing, coming up behind him to offer comfort but Rhys latched on sooner than he could grab the younger man.

“You’re so freakin’ weird, kiddo. Getting that worked up over a spider.”

“Shut up. You throw a shit fit over mushrooms in spaghetti sauce.”

“Now that’s just unnatural,” Jack commented, kissing Rhys’ temple in amusement. “Spiders on the other hand… Lucky I’ve seen you kill things bigger than this couch, kitten. Otherwise I might think I’m dating a coward.”

“Up yours, Jack.” The older man just laughed as he still held Rhys, the younger man’s voice defiant even as he still clung to the CEO.

“There’s that fighting spirit I love.”

“I’m making mushroom sauce next time we have pasta.”

“That’s where I draw the damn line. Now shut up and give the hero some sugar, princess.”

Rhys pouted up at him, but met those arrogant, smug lips anyways. They might have seen some scary things when Rhys accompanied Jack down to Pandora, but the hour in which he was held hostage by the spider in his own bathroom trumped all those experiences to hell. 

Mainly for the teasing Jack gave him.

Damn he hated spiders.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd say Rhys is being overdramatic... but this is exactly how i used to react to spiders until i'd lived in japan/australia. Now the definition of 'big' and 'little' spiders means a way different thing to me hehehe
> 
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